Once I am clean and physically detoxed I have such a strong will and urge to want to enjoy life because I have missed out on more than a third of my life due to being addicted to Opiates and actually LIVE.  Eventually something happens that I cannot handle and I end up relapsing.  I have cravings that I know will pass and know to allow myself to let them pass but my coping skills aren't there yet which is why the Kinder in the Keys Program is something I want to desperately do to learn all of these things I have been suppressing for years  but HAVE to get myself physically clean first.  I don't have cravings more so a major lack of coping mechanisms.