I want to get clean so bad!  I’ve tried everything and I can’t seem to do it. My ex husband nearly killed me one night and I woke up in a hospital fighting for my life. They put me on medication and when I got out of the hospital weeks later I came home to no husband (he went to prison for 8 years) no home as it was in foreclosure, my car was repoed and I lost my job.  I lost everything overnight.  I couldn’t cope so that was and is the worst night of my life and I never could get over it.  The opiates kept me from a dark place and they kept me going where I didn’t have to feel the pain mentally, emotionally or physically.  Here I am now still in this nightmare I can’t seem to wake up from. It never ends. I want out. I want to be free of this drug once and for all and know what it’s like to be happy again. I’m not the same person anymore.  Everyone’s worried about me and I hate to make them feel that way.  It’s not my intention at all. I just don’t know how to do this. I can’t handle the withdrawals. Theyre horrible.   Plus most importantly I want to be the best mom to my kids like I use to be.  Of course I still take care of them and make sure their needs are met but it’s just not the same. I could be the mom I use to be and my kids and I want that baxk so bad.  Please help!  I’d do anything to be free of this and find my happiness again and never go back to this life. I know if I survived that night I was nearly beat to death than I can do this. I just need help on a way to do it without so much feeling like death while doing it. I don’t have insurance but I’m working on that right now.  I jusr want to be free again. Please let me know what it is I need to do to do this.  I’ve never wanted something so bad in my life. I want to wake up from this bad dream that has kept me down for so long because of what happened. I’ve never had a problem w drugs or anything my whole life until that happened. It numbed me and then I didn’t have to feel all the pain that went w it.  Sorry this is so long.  I’m just desperate for help. My ex husband stole my life from me and so much more. He’s still got that control and doesn’t even know it.  Thank you 