While I was clean and had my anxiety in check - I took valium 5mg once to twice a day and that was about it- I didn’t care for anything and didn’t want to go back to unhealthy habits and behavior cycles. I was reintroduced to substances during a relationship and then began to use again- although I did maintain my free will - it’s just harder when it’s right in front of you and available at any given time during the day. 