Using opiates 27 years since age 16. First rehab at age 21. Tried methadone (7 years), suboxone (4 years), psychology (added anti-depressants, benzos &amp; vyvanse), 2014 3-4 day blackout/crashed car=Surrender=2nd rehab. Came home 100% clean of everything &amp; felt the best in my life. Active NA member for 3-4 years. Relapsed, got on methadone again and 4 years later I’m doing worse than ever before. I can feel death coming same as I felt it in 2014 before car accident. 