In 2018 I lost my grandfather who was really like my father to dementia and  watching that man suffer and having to look to me for help with little things like getting a shower or putting on his shoes I had to do it for him and 3 months I discovered my mother after she had comited suicide and in between those 3 months my grandmother fell down steps and broke her entire left side of her body as well as suffered a massive stroke while in the hospital and became bedridden and still is and with all that going on I tried to commit suicide 2 different times unsuccessfully obviously so besides Sucking at  getting sober I also sucked at trying to take my own life 