I’m a lesbian and most of my friends know I have been a lesbian for a very long time. When my second husband left me, I stayed married to him but I remained a lesbian with my partner. I’m also an escort to a married man and he expects me to be on call and assist him with dating other women while I pretend to be his dance teacher and he’s intimately involved with me and other women. I know I’m not appealing to him at the age of 73 but I allow him to date other women because that’s the only way he would be with me and it’s been going on for as long as I’ve known him. He dates multiple women, married, single, living with their boyfriends, and women that work with him, it doesn’t matter to him. He expects me to be involved with him and the willing woman in group activities. I’m too old for this behavior at 73 and so is he.  I must accept his wishes because I have no other choices and he pays my monthly rent. I have to accept that he dates single and married women because it’s the only way he takes me places. He knows that I’m unattractive and overweight and he dates other women to be able to date me. These women help him tolerate being with me. I have been his escort for 9 years and I join them later all the time. I’ve never had a normal relationship/ marriage because my second husband lived separately from me for many years due to his drinking and his involvement with many women.  I’m lacking in several areas of my life and I have a lot of work to do to make improvements at my age. He’s still married and dating and supporting her. He pretends he’s not married but he hides it from me while he spends time with her also. I know if he really wanted me he wouldn’t need the other women to date. The only way I keep him is to participate in group activities with other women. 
Before he begins dating other women he tells me I’m better than them and tells me many lies about those women only to get me to do what he wants so he can continue to date them. Sometimes he picks them up and takes them on dates, something his wife wouldn’t ever allow him to do when he lived with her regularly but now he lives with her a few days a week.  
 He likes to make women leave their husbands or boyfriends for him. He’s constantly trying to prove that I’m different but I’m easy, desperate, obedient and I need his money. 
I’m not capable of many life skills as he compares me to women my age or even women that are not my age. No woman will do or wants to do what I’m doing.  People know that I will do anything because I need the money.  I owe him a lot of money over the years for continuous payments of my rent before I began being his escort. 
I’ll never be able to pay back all of the money and I have to cooperate in any way he wants since I consistently need his help. I’m self employed and my business is struggling and it has been for many years, and he promised to help me with my business if I cooperate. Please help me and give me direction with my life. I’m a Grandmother and I’m ashamed of my behavior. 