 I have been struggling with opiate addiction for almost a solid decade now and am only 32 years old. Before that I was a party guy smoking marijuana daily and using psychedelic drugs almost daily when not in rehab or jail from the age of 14-21. I have not been doing drugs for enjoyment however for quite a long time now, having been arrested in 2015 and truly giving up the life style, and making it as far as 22 months clean(10 while incarcerated), and was blessed to be allowed to help open and be a founding counselor at a free of charge intensive outpatient treatment program named Tomorrow"s Hope under SafeHouse Ministries. Both were founded by the Chaplaun of our local county Jail. They specialize in helping individuals either homeless, just getting out of prison, or in jail with drug charges.  Since that particular relapse on September 23 2017, I have been to treatment 4 different times(1 inpatient and 3 outpatient) twice to the program I helped start. I have made it 7 months from January through September 2018, but no more than 3-4 months at a time since then. I have made 6 separate attempts to get clean since January1st of this year alone, making it 4-6 days each time but without Suboxone or Subutex to aid in withdrawal haven't been able to push through cold turkey as I could in years past. As of the day I am writing this I finally have gotten some Suboxone and am self medicating my own detox and acute &amp; posts acute withdrawal phases. I also have been to 15 or so separate treatments if you compile detox centers, inpatient &amp; outpatient rehab, and sober living communities since April 2006, as well as working as a tech at one when I was 21 &amp; a counselor in 2017. I am so desperate for this nightmare to end and have said repeatedly I wish there was a way to "reset the clock"  to where I hadn't stuck the first pill in my nose or IV my first oxy not knowing this clinic or form of treatment was in existence until this weekend. 