I have been trying to completely stop opiates since 2020. I can get to 5 or 6 days, beat the physical WD, but then i go get a little more and it starts over. This has been a pattern since January 2021. 
I had gotten clean for about 3 months and then i had an accident. I was practicing golf and a ball ricocheted off the practice target and hit me in the left eye.  That's how i got back into opiates. My eye pressure was over 60 and i was in wild pain for about 2 weeks. I ran out of the pills the dr gave me, they wouldn't prescribe me more, so i made a few calls. I was completely blind and on bed rest for over 2 weeks. They didn't know if i was gonna lose my eye. I couldn't work. I couldn't play golf. All i was allowed to do was lay on the couch and wonder how my life would be with only 1 eye. It was the perfect time to lay there and become a lotus eater. I knew it was stupid and I didn't give a fuck. I just stayed high because it made me not care that I was disabled and my life was changed forever. So, I'm tired of using and These GD things have made me lazy and apathetic, destroyed my libido, and make say "why do more?" Instead of "why not do more?" Like i was. I know I'm depressed because i still can't see good outta my eye and it makes me sad. 
My wife and family don't know about this. My wife suspects I'm using something, but i lie and she "believes" me because I'm financially successful, emotionally available, and a good provider. I'm kinda suffering in private because i don't want to worry anyone. I don't like who I've become. I used to be fun and optimistic, now I'm like a cranky old man. Because my doses and use is so light (see above), my WD symptoms are light and manageable. I'm not suicidal or at risk of overdosing. I'm exploring options to see what's the best route for me to get back myself. 