Has said many times he would like to kill himself.  Wishes he could feel normal.  Was taken to ER in January 2020 when he broke into a metal gun safe.  Bullets were kept elsewhere so he did not use the weapon.  Was very agitated and concinued to say he wanted to harm himself.  Was clearly on something and began to drink alcohol as well.  Once at ER, he started to calm down and was almost giddy/silly.  More medicine was given to calm him down.  Once he woke up, he refused to be admitted to seek further assessment/treatment.  He said he did not want to die, just wanted to feel better.  He was already seeing a phychiatrist so made an appointment within days.  Considered attending a local day treatment and went to a few meetings  but there was not a group of people that he felt he fit into so he dropped out. 