I quit taking opiates when I discovered subs (sublingual strips- suboxone) on the streets. I used either 1 or 2 to quit by breaking each strip into 1/4ths and then to 1/8ths and I thought I wasn’t dependent on it anymore. I started drinking again and took a perc or Vic or sometimes a roxy here and there. But kept it at bay. But then I got pregnant with my second child. It’s kind of a blur how I stopped taking everything for the pregnancy. But, I had a mandatory c-section for the second time of giving birth. So, of course, after delivery or during I  had the epidural and whatever else they had me drugged up on. And then I’m sent home with a new born and a prescription to Percocet. I haven’t deliberately withdrawn since. I found suboxone on the street again, but this time I got hooked. I wasn’t aware of it being addictive and no different than opiates. It was just cheaper. I started to see an actual doctor at a clinic for opioid addiction and Xanax tapering treatment program about 5 months ago. I believe it was the end of august 2019. I feel controlled by this medicine and I am ruining my life. I have never been a  “sober” adult. I don’t know life outside of being an addict. I refuse to date. I refuse to get close with friends who aren’t in the same boat as me. My life is sheltered which makes my kid’s lives sheltered. It’s not fair to them. I am really hoping that this is affordable or payment plans are offered. I feel like this could save my life and so many other lives! So many people have died...just people I personally knew, has been too many deaths due to this epidemic. I don’t want to be another number to the death count. Please help me. 