I've been physically dependant on opiates and currently heroin for the past 20 years. I "dabbled" with heroin at a young age (18-19 yrs old) but never became addicted or dependant, I never had symptoms of withdrawal. In my 40's I suffered a back injury that led to a prescription of Percocet. In 2004 I injured my back at work and was in chronic severe pain. My personal doctor referred me to a spine and pain management doctor. He was prescribing 200 oxycodone 5mg tabs ea month. At times he would alternate the 200 oxycodone with Hydromorphone or morphine. This went on for over 10 years. Eventually the "crackdown" came on these doctors, I settled for heroin.  I've been employed at the same dock facility in Seattle WA. for the past 30 yrs. Recently "random" drug testing was approved by our union at the companies request after a fatality. The victim of the accident was found to have marijuana in his autopsy results.  I'm a salaried supervisor with 30 years of service. I fessed up to having a drug problem, was tested immediately and suspended w/ pay. I've been through an 8 day medical (so they advertised) detox, it was nothing short of hell. I checked into a 30 day rehab 7 days later. I left after the 2nd day. I won't go into details however I've been to this type of rehab 3 previous times over the years, I'm 61 years old and I knew in my heart this was a waste of everybody's time and money. I'm done being lectured, punished, and talked "down" to. That does nothing for me but make me resentful. I want to be clean, I don't want to use, I want to be a good employee, father, son, brother, and husband.  I feel desperate and hopeless. I need your help ASAP.